The Life & Times Of A Television
I was sitting with my friends one day,
All warm and quite content.
When salesman Dave, all teeth and spots, said,
“Here’s the one to rent!”
Then Mister Jones, his wife and kids,
Came up to take a view.
They fiddled, pulled and twisted knobs,
I knew my days were few.
I said goodbye to all my friends,
A teardrop in my eye.
And hoped that Dave, all grease and suit,
Forgot to mention Sky.
Jones took me home and plugged me in,
On view for all to see.
They flicked around from 2 to 4,
From 1 and then to 3.
They fiddled with my aerial,
Turned the volume up and down.
Watched National News, a thousand soaps,
And moved me round and round.
And finally came the VCR,
And a year of BSB
When in the end, I blew my tubes,
It was all too much for me.
So now I sit in Jim’s Repairs,
On sale for twenty quid.
I only hope the next to buy,
Won’t treat me like Jones did.
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