Mirror mirror

A poem dedicated to all those struggling with eating disorders. 

Mirror mirror on the wall,
why do you keep me in this thrall?
When people tell me what they see,
is not the image you show me.

I stand before you time again,
my heart and mind consumed by pain.
And staring back, a girl I loathe. 
Is this the truth reflecting so?

My self esteem, my confidence,
are figments of a dark pretence.  
For deep within me lies a hole,
from where this foe despoiled my soul. 

Each day I try to find the strength, 
to fight the demons I’ve been sent.
But still the scars stay visible:
emotional and physical. 

I cannot sleep, I dare not eat,
I’ll lie, I’ll hide, I’ll cry, I’ll cheat. 
I’ll wear a smile and let you hear,
I’m doing fine, no problems here. 

I can not help but blame myself. 
I’m too ashamed to ask for help. 
So I must face this dread alone,
and round and round and round it goes. 

I see no sense to carry on,
you have me beat, my worth has gone. 
I’m tired, I’m lost, I can not see,
an end to all this misery. 

Mirror mirror on the wall,
is your desire to watch me to fall?
An adversary filled with spite,
that’s beating me beyond my fight. 

Oh lord that watches from a high,
am I to stand there by your side?
Or will you send me strength at last,
to finally break this mirror glass?

Why did you leave me all alone?
I can not do this on my own. 
So please, I ask, erase this grief,
then I might find some love for me. 

P. A. Davies 2022

If you are suffering with mental illness, please don't suffer alone. Reach out to people or organisations that truly care.
Contact MIND here
Contact The Samaritans here

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